Why We Dislike Starbucks

9 Oct

Kaleigh and I dislike Starbucks.  To us Starbucks is the Walmart of the coffee world and while lots and lots of people like Walmart and Starbucks, we would rather spend our hard earned cash elsewhere.  Now some of you may think that this makes us a snobby elitist couple that are all about high priced healthy food, and coffee shops that are not so numerous you can find 10 different locations within a 1 mile radius of the 16th street mall…well you would be right.  Our view is that if we are putting something into our body (you know the thing with 2 arms, 2 legs and a head) then it better be good tasting and good for you even if it costs a few extra bucks to do so.  This is not to say that Starbucks coffee or Walmart don’t offer good healthy food, I’m sure they do but we would rather support a local business or farm or coffeehouse than a giant company that is taking over the world and if that makes us snobby so be it.  Plus fresh food tastes better! Anyway I feel myself going off onto a tangent that I didn’t intend to include at the beginning of this post, and while I could just delete my litte rant I won’t because I like it.  But back to the purpose of this post, Starbucks.  I haven’t been to a Starbucks in a while, but Kaleigh and I needed a quick warm drink before heading to a local football game with a few middle school kids.  And purely because of time constraints (and I’ll be honest convienence) we stopped at a Starbucks that was, surprise, surprise right across the street from the school.  This was the converstation I had with two baristas:

Barista 1: Hello, what can I get for you?

Me: Hi, ummm…give me one second to figure this out (At this point I am trying to decipher the menu)

Me: Ok I’ve decided, can I get a medium Cafe au lait?

Barista 1: (Hesitation) A what?

Me: A cafe au lait.

Barista 1: OK…what is that, I’ll be honest, i’ve never heard of that before.

Me: (What? Isn’t a cafe au lait a pretty standard drink?  Shouldn’t a barista know what this is?)  Well its coffee with steamed milk…(At this point I’m hoping this will trigger some memory from her training…)

Barista 2: Oh that is a Misto (What is a Misto?  Why does your company feel the desire to rename a standard, classic drink with a strange Italian sounding word?)

Barista 1: Oh a misto, what size would like?

Me: Medium.

Barista 1: Medium? Oh you mean a grande?

Me: Uh if that is you medium, then yes.

Barista 1: Ok grande misto, anything else?

Me: Yeah I would like a medium hot apple cider.

Barista 1: Ok. Wait, what?

Me: A hot apple cider? (At this point I’m frantically looking over the menu to figure out what crazy name this simple drink could have…) Uh I believe you guys call it a Carmel Apple Spice.

Barista 1: Oh a Carmel Apple Spice, you should have said that.  What size?

Me: Uh medium please.

Barista 1: (Insert strange, slightly dirty look) Grande.

Me: Yeah, medium.

At this point I get rung up for my drinks and receive the complimentary inquisitive and dirty looks from other patrons both in line and sitting down who are obviously more well versed in Starbucks tongue than I.  It almost feels like I am in a different country.  I proceed to stand and wait for my order.

Barista 2: Grande Misto, Grande Caramel Apple Spice.

Me: ………..

Barista 2: Grande Misto, Grande Caramel Apple Spice! (Looking clearly at me)

Me: ………..(Looking around observing the store, when I happen to look at the counter and see Barista 2 holding up two drinks and looking right at me.) Oh I guess that’s me.  Thanks.

I then make my exit as quickly as possible happy to get back to the relative comfort of a busy street and my car.  I get inside and then think to myself…that is why I don’t like Starbucks.


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