the duality of a new year

8 Jan

A New Year.

I don’t know if I am alone in this but I always have such mixed emotions when a new year arrives.

On one hand, I am so excited for a new start with new goals and exciting ideas to pursue. Every year it seems that I add another 3-4 more goals/resolutions to my list than I had last year. I love to pick out a new and hopefully inspirational datebook. A clean slate for a slew of whole new experiences and adventures. In my mind, I am ready for spring to come (which is crazy because here in Colorado, winter is just getting started). But I feel the need to do the “spring cleaning” and shed unnecessary things out of my life. This is quite evident in my on-going purging, which is going quite well by the way.  I’m ready for a re-birth, so to speak.

The other part of me keeps looking back. I don’t want to take down our Christmas tree or any of our seasonal decorations for that matter. I don’t want to say good-bye to my grandparents. I have a strong fighting urge in me that refuses to go back to the normal work routine. Deep within me, I’m shocked and a little sad that a whole other year of my life has flown by. Even though I buy a new date book, I keep the old one (shocking, I know). I love the feeling of the season and I hate to let it go. I used to have a book when I was young. The story was about a little girl that made a wish that Christmas would never end. She got her wish and it was fantastic at first. Every morning she woke up with great new toys and treats overflowing from under her tree and in her stocking. But soon, her tummy got upset from all the treats and eventually she couldn’t even see her family because there was so much stuff packed in her house. She was wrought with sadness and un-wished her wish.

So, change is inevitable. Otherwise you end up lonely and with a tummy ache (and chubby). This is just plain true. And if little children can accept this, then so can I.

So this weekend we are taking down the decorations. We are building a new bookshelf. I will be continuing the great purge. The last draft of my list of goals for 2011 has a total of 19 goals and my new datebook has a place set aside for both growth and remembrance. Growth being the key.

I am preparing for the new and I am ready for new things, I promise.

There are several goals I have already started working on.

The true test: can I throw away my 2010 datebook?



One Response to “the duality of a new year”


  1. a few current obsessions… « 2 People, 2 Dogs, 1 Apartment - January 16, 2011

    […] mind is going a mile a minute on all things things that I want to accomplish. I do have 17 goals for the New Year. I’ve got to get to work! Unfortunately I still feel that I have a lack of […]

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